The local news always has all the fun. Although this time local really means Jackson, Mississippi. Where a young man was sitting in a car about to enjoy a hamburger when a tornado came up and took it. I know I know, a dog ate my homework, a tornado took my hamburger, Rick Rumble took a dump on my hood. All very likely stories. But this guy is convinced. I hear he even has fliers up all over town asking if anyone has seen his fries.

IRONING! GETS! EXTREME! Watch as Brittons everywhere sneak their clothes-straightening apparatus onto abandoned highways and safely perform mundane tasks! IT’S EXTREME! Because it’s a man doing it, you see……ooooh snap!

And the centerpiece today from Idiots on the Internet is a little girl with some words of advice for you.

-E